Human (A Hunter x Hunter one-shot)
by Kirbydesu248
Summary: What makes a psychopath? A genetic abnormality? Family? Circumstances? Or are they just so twisted that there is not true explanation for their behavior? It's difficult for one to identify just what it is that causes a person to behave the way that they do. When that person snaps. When they lose all traces of their humanity. Awful summary.. but a fanfic about origins of Hisoka.


A/N: This is the first of the prompt requests that I'm publishing! It was requested by LxLawliet. A romantic story that ends in tragedy. Now I've written a LOT of feelsy fics lately so I took a slightly different spin on this. I hope you guys like it!

Disclaimer: I do not own any part of the HxH franchise! Just the two OC characters in this story!

….

Human

It was a beautiful day throughout the world of Hunters. Sunlight shown through from the window, warming fair skin as tousled crimson locks sought refuge underneath satin sheets. The man frowned, trying to ward off consciousness in favor of just a few moments longer of slumber. From somewhere outside of his bedroom came the faint sounds of singing- a lullaby that he knew by heart.

The man finally gave up on the idea of hiding from the waking world and threw the sheets aside haphazardly, amber eyes blinking away any traces of sleep as he stretches, his defined muscles tensing with the effort. He slowly stood from the safe haven that was his bead, putting on a shirt before emerging from the room and making his way towards the sweet voice.

He walked down the hallway before opening a door, a soft smile reaching his lips. Eyes of chestnut looked up from where she sat in the rocking chair, cradling an infant in her arms, a bottle poised in one hand. Her long brown hair was pulled back in a loose bun, having learned in their first week of being parents that leaving it down, and in arms reach of a curious baby, was not the greatest of ideas. The man made his way over to them, kissing the young woman's forehead before stroking his child's cheek. He felt his heart melt as the babe let out a mewl at his soft touch.

"Good morning. How did you sleep, sweetheart?" Amari looked up at her husband, a warm smile on her lips. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders, standing behind her.

"I slept well. Did Hotei wake you?" He frowned, his gaze shifting to their son who was looking up at him. She shook her head softly.

"No, he actually managed to slept through the night without any trouble. I just happened to wake up before you for once." She giggled at him, eyes full of mischief. He raised an eyebrow at her. _She's completely full of it._

"What's so funny?" She shook her head and continued to laugh, amused by the look on his face. He chuckled, kissing her cheek, "You're so weird, you know that?"

"You married me, though. So that just means you're weird too." She stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.

"Yes, I suppose I am strange for being with you, huh?" Hisoka questioned, earning a laugh from the woman.

"Mhm! In fact, I think that makes you even weirder than me!"

"Oh yeah?"

"Yup!" Hisoka couldn't help but laugh at his wife's logic, her youthful innocence refreshing to him. A sheepish grin broke out onto her face, her cheeks a bit pink, at his laughter. "D-Don't laugh at me!"

"You should be happy. After all, I'm usually the one making people laugh." He said, picking up his son and cradling him in his own arms. Amari rolled her eyes from where she sat.

"You're a magician, Hisoka. Not a comedian. You try to crack jokes and fail miserably. The only reason anyone laughs at all is so that you won't feel bad." Hisoka frowned, feigning hurt.

"Ouch. That was a little much, don't you think? I don't insult your trade."

"Because I'm actually _good_ at what I do!" The woman laughed, standing from the rocking chair and stretching. He scoffed, throwing her a teasing look.

"You weren't always skilled. How many egg shells did I have to eat when you were first learning to cook? And how many times was I sick with food poisoning?" She flushed, toying with a strand of hair that had fallen out of her bun.

"Okay, okay, I get it."

"And remember when you thought that it would be a great idea adding _ketchup_ to-"

"Oh my gosh, Hisoka, _stop_!" The taller man laughed as she reached up to cover his mouth with her hand. Her face was bright red and he couldn't help but ruffle her already messy hair. "Hey!"

"Hey, yourself." He lightly grabbed her hand with his free one, lacing their fingers together. She glared at him, trying to be at least a _little_ intimidating. Unfortunately for her, a five foot tall woman did very little to strike fear in the eyes of the man in front of her, standing at nearly six foot and two inches. In fact, Hisoka decided that it was just flat out adorable. He gingerly set the infant down in his crib before swooping down to give Amari a chaste kiss. "Don't worry, you are a _sensational_ cook."

"I am?" She questioned suspiciously, shivering as he nuzzled her neck with his nose.

"Mhmm…" She flushed, hearing the smirk in his voice.

"You sure you aren't lying? I mean what about the egg shells and the-" Her breath hitched when he planted a soft kiss on her tanned skin just above her shoulder.

"Amari Morow, you are amazing in every sense of the word." He took her face in his large hands, "Now let's go back to bed. It's still early and you don't look fully rested. If Hotei wakes up crying again, I'll take care of it."

"But I'm not-" She stifled a yawn, blushing at her husband's knowing look, "Okay, fine. I'm a _little_ tired." She squealed when Hisoka picked her up in his arms suddenly, clinging to him for dear life. "H-Hisoka!"

"Time for bed then." He gave her a devious grin, "And since you're so tired, it wouldn't be proper of me to make you walk there yourself." With that, he walked back to their bedroom, tossing her on the bed playfully. She giggled at him, pulling him down for a kiss and the man found himself giving in, getting under the covers himself.

…

"You're nothing but a cheat!" Amari gaped at her husband as they sat at their small kitchen table, cards laid out over the surface. Hotei cooed from his carrier on the table beside their game. His small hands grasped a drool-covered card.

"All's fair in love and _war_." Hisoka smirked, crossing his arms. She rolled her eyes, cleaning up the cards.

"That was possibly the worst pun I've ever heard. Seriously, though. How do you cheat at a stupid game like war?" It was his turn to roll his eyes.

"I never said I cheated. I'm just that good."

"The game is based on luck! You've won five games in a row!" Hisoka shrugged, watching her deft fingers shuffle the cards.

"Maybe you're just unlucky." He smirked before being caught off guard when a card hit him in the forehead, scraping the skin. He frowned, touching the scratch that was tinted with blood. The man looked at her offended.

"You deserved it. You're not the only one skilled with cards." She said nonchalant, cutting the deck. He gaped at her.

"I'm skilled with card _tricks_! Not using them as _weapons_!"

"Maybe you should learn to." He gave her a confused look while she divvyed up the cards, "Maybe it would give you a leg up for that Hunter Exam you keep thinking about taking." His golden eyes widened at her.

"I never said-"

"You mentioned it once. And you've been lost in thought ever since."

"Well, for one, we're _parents_ now. I have a lot on my mind." He gave the giggling infant a pointed look that turned out to be more loving that he'd intended. "And that's exactly why taking the Hunter Exam would be a bad idea."

"Why's that? I think you'd pass with flying colors." The man ran his fingers through crimson hair, his eyes unreadable.

"I wouldn't know what to expect. But I'd be willing to bet that it's not just a test of physical strength or speed. It probably has mental components as well, something I'm not sure I could handle depending on the situation. And trials that test our moral compass. I'm not sure if I could do it if they told me to kill someone. The truth is, I'd be willing to try it if I didn't have a family. But I have you and Hotei to think of."

Amari smiled at him softly, reaching across the table to take one of his hands in hers. She needed to convince him to do this somehow. In the twenty-one years of Hisoka's life, she'd never known him to back down from any challenge. She knew him better than she knew anyone else, and she knew that he wanted to take the Hunter Exam, that she was holding him back.

"Hisoka, you need to try. I've never heard you say anything but 'yes' to a chance to show off. More importantly, a chance to make yourself stronger. If you're so worried about getting hurt or hurting someone else, then apply to take the exam and just drop out if it gets bad. You'll never know until you _try_." She squeezed his hand, seeing the confliction flash through his eyes, "I love you. And I don't want you miss out on something because of me."

"I…" He hesitated, not being able to break the eye contact between them. He was afraid. How could he look at her if he compromised who he was- if he compromised the man she loved. But at the same time, she was right. He _really_ wanted to face this challenge head-on. He wanted to go for it because he was curious, but also because he wanted to prove to himself that he could protect his family. Becoming a Hunter would mean that he had every resource at his disposal to keep them safe. Finally, after some thinking, he made up his mind. "Alright, I'll do it."

The next exam was still eight months away since he'd just missed the previous exam. That meant that he had eight months to prepare. He would dedicate that time to researching past exams, to training physically and mentally, and to enjoying his family. He would cultivate his inspiration for taking this exam- to make himself stronger, to keep his family safe, and to give his son a reason to look up to him.

He would pass that exam and he would do it without compromising himself and everything that he'd worked for. He would make his small family proud and he would take them on wherever his hunting assignments led him.

…

Six months later, there was a funeral. One service for two people. A mother and son. That day was a funeral for the only family Hisoka had left. He stood in the rain, not bothering to open his umbrella, just letting the water soak through his locks as he stared at the caskets of his wife and eight-month-old son.

He'd been gone for barely a few hours, but that was all that it took. All that it took for someone to break into their small home and to murder the only people that he truly cared about. He could still smell it- the metallic smell of blood that hit him like a tidal wave as he opened the front door. He could still see Amari laying in a pool of her own blood, blank eyes filled with horror as she gazed to the side. He could remember following her lifeless eyes, seeing his baby soaked with blood. The man had laid there for hours, strangled sobs tearing from his throat until law enforcement arrived- no doubt from one of the neighbors hearing his cries.

Nothing had been stolen. He'd searched the entirety of their home a dozen times to confirm it. Someone had broken in, seemingly with only the intention of killing the occupants. There was no damage to the house. No locks broken. No windows damaged. No signs of a struggle. _Amari had known them_. She had let their murderers into their home without even realizing it. And Hisoka didn't have the slightest idea of who had done it. He'd pleaded with law enforcement to do something. Made calls to the Hunter's Association, only to be redirected and put on hold more times than he could count. The only thing that he could do was organize the funeral. So he did.

As far as ceremonies go, the funeral was… _nice_. He knew that Amari would have been pleased with it- or at least he hoped she would have been. Something that he had refused to back down on was that Hotei _had_ to be buried close to her. He had spent a great deal of money ensuring that the plot was large enough and the funeral would be long enough for this. What few friends they had were all there, as were their neighbors. It was small and the weather didn't cooperate. But it was _nice_ … As far as funerals go.

That night, Hisoka cried. He refused to cry at the ceremony. But when he was alone in his empty home, he cried until he fell asleep. He sat in his son's nursery, holding his favorite bear close to him. He laid in his and Amari's bed, sniffing his wife's pillow, desperately trying to find whatever traces of her scent remained. And when he did, he cried harder.

…..

Hisoka called the Zoldyck family. He shouldn't have, he knew that. But law enforcement and the Hunter's Association were doing _nothing_ to catch the monster who robbed him of those most precious to him. He was desperate. And if anyone could find him and put an end to him, it would be the world's most terrifying family of assassins. So he called them, relaying the situation to them though a butler. And he waited to hear back, wondering if they would even help him.

The first time that he was supposed to be meeting with a member of the family, Hisoka backed out at the last second. He hadn't meant to. He knew that they were his only hope of getting justice for his family. He'd actually gotten _close_ to their meeting place. Close enough to see the man who was about his age, long black hair cascading down his back, eyes cold and black. Though he knew that he should be at least a little bit intimidated by the man, he wasn't. He knew that the Zoldycks were merciless- that's what ensured that they would complete each and every assignment. No, he wasn't afraid of the man who was standing on the nearly deserted street corner where they'd agreed to meet. What caused him to turn around, what struck fear, no, _pain_ , in his heart, what the small boy standing next to the man. He was young, barely older than ten if Hisoka had to guess. White hair and bright blue eyes, eyes that seemed to be shrouded in darkness, not yet cold but not innocent either. He still had baby fat on his cheeks, a childish look despite him obviously being a Zoldyck. Gazing at the boy, for no matter how brief, he imagined his own son. He wondered what he would have been like if he had been given the opportunity to live that long. Part of him, as naïve is it sounded, thought that he could protect that boy with the white hair if he could stop him from going on one less assignment.

He received a phone call a few hours later. A man who called himself Illumi informed him that he'd been waiting for him. Hisoka apologized, saying that he had just lost his son and seeing the little boy took him by surprise. Illumi promised him that that would be the last time that he would see his younger brother. So Hisoka agreed to meet him again.

….

"You're going to take the Hunter Exam?" Illumi's blank eyes widened in surprise at Hisoka as they sat on a bench. "Shouldn't you be more prepared?"

"I'll be fine." Hisoka chewed on the inside of his cheek, looking at a family off in the distance, his eyes darkening.

"Don't misunderstand my surprise for concern. It's your choice. I just think it's pointless. You hired me to take him out and now that you have his identity, you plan on doing it yourself?"

"I needed to find him. And now that I know he's from the Hunter's Association, that he's a _proctor_ for this year's exam, I've decided that that would be the perfect opportunity." Illumi watched the man warily, sensing a great deal of bloodlust from him.

"You'll fail. You can't kill a proctor."

"I don't care."

"Have you ever killed anyone before?"

"No, but I think murdering my family is a good enough cause for me snapping."

"You can't use _Nen_. How do you expect to kill him?"

" _Nen_?" Hisoka finally turned back to Illumi, confusion mixing into his features, "What's that?" Illumi sighed, getting up from the bench.

"The simple answer is being able to sense and manipulate aura. If you can't do that, you don't have a chance. I've been told that to be a real Hunter, you must be an expert at using _Nen_."

"Then teach me." Illumi looked back at Hisoka, eyes widening once more in surprise.

"What?"

"Teach me." Hisoka stood up facing the man in front of him, "If you know so much about _Nen_ , you must be able to use it. Show me how."

Illumi met Hisoka's determined gaze, surprised by the lack of fear in his eyes. He had grown accustomed to everyone fearing him and his family, but this man wasn't afraid at all. He was conflicted, knowing that this was no longer considered part of his assignment. He'd already been paid and, thus, his obligation had passed. But he still found himself _wanting_ to help. A longing that had long been buried resurfaced, a longing that he didn't understand. With a sigh he conceded.

"Alright. But the exam starts in a few weeks, so we don't have much time." Hisoka nodded, his face serious. "To speed up the process, I'm going to hit you with my aura. Are you ready?" He nodded again before being sent into the nearest tree, the breath being knocked out of him.

When he came to, he felt and immense sense of power. Clouds of white swarmed his body and he was amazed at how strong he felt. He clenched a fist, the aura around him turning purple as he imagined fighting the man responsible for all of his pain- for all of his rage.

…

Illumi openly laughed for the first time in years. He clutched at his sides, roaring with laughing from where he sat in a chair at Hisoka's apartment. A crimson eyebrow twitched in annoyance, eyes narrowing at the assassin.

"Y-You're wearing _that_? You look like a fool!" Illumi tried to compose himself, failing as he stole another glance at the man who appeared to be dressed as some sort jester.

"Do I judge your clothing choices?" Hisoka muttered, purple aura leaking out. Illumi waved his hands a bit in front of him, feeling Hisoka's hostile _Nen_.

"Alright, alright. It's your choice." Laughs threatened to spill from his lips but he managed to hold them in. "At least no one will suspect your intentions when you look like nothing but an idiot."

"Until you get a haircut, you can't talk." Hisoka fixed his hair in the mirror, gelling it back. In the mirror's reflection he could see Illumi looking irked.

"I happen to like my hair like this."

"And I happen to like dressing like this. Besides, Amari would have thought it was funny." He paused, feeling strange. He never said her name after she died. It felt wrong leaving his lips and his throat constricted as he took a breath to level himself. Illumi seemed to take the hint and got up.

"The testing sight is a small island west of and even smaller island called Whale Island. I'll send the information to you via my messenger hawk once I get it." He started walking towards the front door before turning back towards the man, "Don't do anything stupid. If you can't win, don't attack. It'll be useless if you end up dead."

"I know. Thank you, Illumi."

…

Hisoka failed the exam. Though it wasn't for lack of talent. The proctors all spoke highly of him, saying that he had promise. The other applicants were nervous around him, sensing his bloodlust and confusing it for a desire to kill mindlessly. No, Hisoka only wanted to kill one person.

He lunged at him, smothering him in his suffocating aura. The other applicants were in a panic, the other proctors trying to stop the attack. But no one could interfere. He clutched at his neck, holding him up above his head, squeezing until he heard cracking. Until the desperation in his victim's eyes reached its peak. He felt the corners of his mouth pull into a grin, watching the man kick helplessly.

" _If you're so worried about getting hurt or hurting someone else, then apply to take the exam and just drop out if it gets bad."_

But he wasn't worried anymore. He wasn't afraid of making this man pay for his crimes. He would kill him. He would make him suffer.

" _I love you."_

He let go, dropping the man in a heap on the ground, his own hands shaking as he breathed heavily. The man on the ground coughed, crawling away, and Hisoka laughed. The other proctors finally grabbed him, saying something about him being disqualified for attacking a proctor. But Hisoka could care less. He was torn, knowing that he had done what he vowed never to do- compromise the man Amari loved. But he also felt a rush, holding that dying man in his grasp.

Before he could stop them, tears leaked down his face as he continued to laugh. What had he become? He could feel himself being consumed by his own bloodlust until eventually he thought it would overtake him. He willed himself to shove the faces of his wife and son out of his mind, only focusing on the cracking bones that had been under his fingers moments before.

He focused on ridding himself of the pain. Even if it meant becoming a monster.

…

A year later, Hisoka was back at the Hunter Exam. Only this time he wasn't there for a personal mission. He was there because the closest thing to a friend asked him to. And this time he intended to actually pass the exam. He wasn't really sure _why_ he wanted to be a Hunter. Possibly just to tack onto the list of accomplishments he had. To prove himself, maybe, since the first attempt didn't count.

Of course he wasn't specifically there for him. Illumi had requested his company in order to keep an eye on his brother. It hadn't struck Hisoka as odd that one of the Zoldycks would be taking the exam- well, two counting Illumi. He didn't question it and willingly agreed to join him, anxious to retake the exam. However, it wasn't until he arrived that he noticed just which brother was taking the exam alongside him. _The white haired boy_. The one who he had wanted to protect. The one who somehow reminded him of Hotei.

" _I love you. And I don't want you miss out on something because of me."_

He frowned, placing a secret vow in the back of his mind: _As long as this boy's alive, I will try to hold onto whatever humanity I have left._


End file.
